Poopy Day

THIS STORY IS FOR PARENTS ONLY! IF YOU EVER DESIRE CHILDREN DO NOT READ THIS STORY!

As a very new parent I am very observant of my daughter's bodily functions
Since I'm breastfeeding, I'm always wondering how much she is eating and is she getting enough. Well the only way to check the input is to monitor the output so, for me; diaper changes are not gross but a source of information.

I thoroughly enjoyed changing her first poopy diaper on her first day of life; because it gave me the opportunity to give this being that my husband and I created a good inspection. Turner had been swaddled and wearing a hat from just a few minutes after she was born, so all I had really seen was her precious little face. With that diaper change I got to see the rest of her and all of it was precious. I loved her long little fingers, her daddy's feet and I even thought her pooper shooter was so precious that I did not even notice the meconium it had produced. I was just so happy it was working. It means she is getting colostrum from me and it is clearing out her system. Horary!

After that episode there were several days where there were no more poopy diapers as my milk had not yet come in. I was starting to wonder if my nursing was working.

On Turner's 5th day of life you can imagine my glee as I discover she has another poopy diaper and I get to change her (we've been fortunate to have so much help that I haven't had to change too many diapers). I was looking forward to another magical experience where I am just overwhelmed by how wonderful she is. I take my daughter and her diaper caddy to our bathroom. The counter in there is the perfect height and I can wash my hands right afterward before touching her or anything else. This was going to be great! I was going to change her diaper all by myself and prove I'm getting this mommy thing down.

I lay her down on her changing pad and have the new diaper all ready as well as the wipe. I pull off her old diaper and right as I'm doing the quick diaper swap, my precious daughter shoots liquid poop like a fire hydrant out across the bathroom! It goes all over her changing pad, the bathroom counter, the sink, the wall, the hand towel and me! I scream in shock and disgust but before I can even think about what to do next, she does it again!!!

By this time Mike and his grandmother, who had come for a visit, came running in to see why I screamed. But the scene was self explanatory and all I could say, "She just exploded!"

There was poop all over everything! Grandma Joan backed out of the room and basically said "Have fun kids. I've gotta go." Then she left us all alone with the nastiness. Did I mention poop was everywhere! We grabbed the paper towels and just started wiping, trying really hard not to vomit. This was soooo disgusting! During all the commotion Turner happily laid there looking at her reflection in the mirror not at all concerned at all that the lower half of her body was basically covered in pea soup poop!

Eventually we powered through and cleaned it all up. Thank Goodness we were in the bathroom where all the surfaces are non-porous. Could you imagine the horror if I had changed her on our living room ottoman like I had been doing up to this point!

Now I always giver her a few minutes before I change her to make sure she's done and then always change her diaper in the bathroom.

Mike and I have not quite recovered from this brutal initiation to parenthood. At least our daughter's plumbing is working, right?