My Breastfeeding Life

1st Month: This was the hardest month by far. Turner demanded to nurse almost every hour. Keeping up with this exhausting demand became only more difficult when I had painful clogged milk ducts and cracked nipples. Turner was so small that it seemed like an act of congress to get a good latch. While she was nursing I was constantly on guard to keep her "hooked on" properly. As soon as she was done nursing, I would lay her in her swing to have enough time to go to the bathroom and refill my water glass before she demanded to be picked up again. I had such a hard time feeding myself or anything else that required two hands and forget about sleep. Turner seemed to sleep and nurse at the same time and because she had such a hard time keeping a proper latch I could not just lay down and let her nurse while I slept.
Thank goodness for the Hooter Hider or I would have not been able to leave my house or have anyone come over. If I had been stuck in my room the whole time, I'm sure I would have given up. We got through it though. She gained a pound a week that first month and as soon as she hit the 12lb mark life was awesome again.

2nd and 3rd month: Turner's weight gain slowed to a steady 1/2 lb per week and she began sleeping in longer stretches. By the time she was 8 weeks old she started sleeping 10 hours through the night and was really mellow during the day. I could run errands, go for runs and walks, and do chores with out so much of a peep from her. The only time she would cry was when she was hungry and that was about every 4 hours. I felt like I was getting my life back again!

4th month: Turner was no longer sleeping through the night. At her check up I complained to the Dr. that her sleep cycles seem to be digressing into shorter periods again. She suggested that Turner might be going through a growth spurt and she may be hungry. The Dr. said she needs to nurse more to increase my milk supply again. I couldn't believe the Dr. wanted me to feed my daughter MORE! She was already in the 99% in height and weight.
I also feel like we've had a slightly harder time the last couple of weeks because my dad was in the hospital and Turner stayed with her grandmothers. During that time Turner was getting bottles of breast milk and I was pumping, but I was not keeping up with her demand. Turner drank everything I pumped plus all the reserve I had in the freezer! When it was just Turner and I again, my boobs had to play some serious catch up which was tough on both of us for a few days. I felt like I was back at month 1 nursing day and night. I was worried I was beginning to dry up. Instead, Turner was just sucking it all out of me. It is also a challenge because I was getting a lot of pressure from family to start her on rice cereal and other solids in order to fill her up and get a full night's sleep again, but I trust my pediatrician and she recommends only breast milk for 6 months. Finally after a hard week of constant nursing, my supply again met the demand and Turner and I got back on a good rhythm. Tomorrow Turner turns 5 months old, so hopefully we will coast to the 6 month mark of only breast milk.

Breastfeeding definitely takes determination to the point of stubbornness and lots of patients. It is definitely not the easiest thing to do and I understand why some women quit. I just have to keep focused on the positives of sole breastfeeding. This is my mantra when I'm frustrated:

• It really is a wonderful bonding experience for us. Turner doesn't really snuggle any other time except for when she is nursing.
• She is receiving tons of health benefits from it... Boosted IQ and Immunity and lower risks for Diabetes and Obesity
• It is cheaper than formula and I also don't have to constantly wash bottles
• It has melted off all my baby weight. I lost another 3lbs in the last month alone with this increased nursing.

I repeat this list to my self over and over when I'm discouraged. Hopefully it will allow me to successfully nurse for a whole year.

Mommy Clothes

Getting dressed lately has become a struggle. My closet is full of beautiful linen slacks, smart fitted jackets, flirty dresses and skirts, all with coordinating three inch heels and accessories. I loved getting dressed to go to work. I worked as a design consultant, so everyday was a day to dress to impress. The best way to quickly show that you had any clue you knew how to decorate a home was with the way you decorated your self. Getting dressed every morning was fun, and I left the house feeling cute and confident. I've been anxious to get back in those clothes and aura of confidence that came with them, but I'm slowly realizing that may not happen. While those clothes fit again, they are not exactly appropriate for the trenches of the stay at home mom. For now, I've traded in my dry clean only suits and delicate silk blouses for cotton T-shirts and shorts from which spit up, drool and other baby bodily fluids wash right out. I've traded my bangles and heels for a running watch and flip flops when I'm not bare foot. Instead of letting my signature hair cascade down my back, it is now in a bun away from reaching hands. Even my bras have changed from pretty little satin surprises for my husband to cotton nursing bras that have way too much function and not enough form. I have yet to give up mascara, and because it is my last little luxury, I've gone back to Lancome. I love that mascara! It is funny how such a small little thing can make you feel somewhat put together, so I put it on even if I'm not leaving the house.
Just like it took me time to master the art of business casual, I'm sure I will eventually figure out my mommy style that exudes sassy confidence with out compromising function.