My Breastfeeding Life

1st Month: This was the hardest month by far. Turner demanded to nurse almost every hour. Keeping up with this exhausting demand became only more difficult when I had painful clogged milk ducts and cracked nipples. Turner was so small that it seemed like an act of congress to get a good latch. While she was nursing I was constantly on guard to keep her "hooked on" properly. As soon as she was done nursing, I would lay her in her swing to have enough time to go to the bathroom and refill my water glass before she demanded to be picked up again. I had such a hard time feeding myself or anything else that required two hands and forget about sleep. Turner seemed to sleep and nurse at the same time and because she had such a hard time keeping a proper latch I could not just lay down and let her nurse while I slept.
Thank goodness for the Hooter Hider or I would have not been able to leave my house or have anyone come over. If I had been stuck in my room the whole time, I'm sure I would have given up. We got through it though. She gained a pound a week that first month and as soon as she hit the 12lb mark life was awesome again.

2nd and 3rd month: Turner's weight gain slowed to a steady 1/2 lb per week and she began sleeping in longer stretches. By the time she was 8 weeks old she started sleeping 10 hours through the night and was really mellow during the day. I could run errands, go for runs and walks, and do chores with out so much of a peep from her. The only time she would cry was when she was hungry and that was about every 4 hours. I felt like I was getting my life back again!

4th month: Turner was no longer sleeping through the night. At her check up I complained to the Dr. that her sleep cycles seem to be digressing into shorter periods again. She suggested that Turner might be going through a growth spurt and she may be hungry. The Dr. said she needs to nurse more to increase my milk supply again. I couldn't believe the Dr. wanted me to feed my daughter MORE! She was already in the 99% in height and weight.
I also feel like we've had a slightly harder time the last couple of weeks because my dad was in the hospital and Turner stayed with her grandmothers. During that time Turner was getting bottles of breast milk and I was pumping, but I was not keeping up with her demand. Turner drank everything I pumped plus all the reserve I had in the freezer! When it was just Turner and I again, my boobs had to play some serious catch up which was tough on both of us for a few days. I felt like I was back at month 1 nursing day and night. I was worried I was beginning to dry up. Instead, Turner was just sucking it all out of me. It is also a challenge because I was getting a lot of pressure from family to start her on rice cereal and other solids in order to fill her up and get a full night's sleep again, but I trust my pediatrician and she recommends only breast milk for 6 months. Finally after a hard week of constant nursing, my supply again met the demand and Turner and I got back on a good rhythm. Tomorrow Turner turns 5 months old, so hopefully we will coast to the 6 month mark of only breast milk.

Breastfeeding definitely takes determination to the point of stubbornness and lots of patients. It is definitely not the easiest thing to do and I understand why some women quit. I just have to keep focused on the positives of sole breastfeeding. This is my mantra when I'm frustrated:

• It really is a wonderful bonding experience for us. Turner doesn't really snuggle any other time except for when she is nursing.
• She is receiving tons of health benefits from it... Boosted IQ and Immunity and lower risks for Diabetes and Obesity
• It is cheaper than formula and I also don't have to constantly wash bottles
• It has melted off all my baby weight. I lost another 3lbs in the last month alone with this increased nursing.

I repeat this list to my self over and over when I'm discouraged. Hopefully it will allow me to successfully nurse for a whole year.

Mommy Clothes

Getting dressed lately has become a struggle. My closet is full of beautiful linen slacks, smart fitted jackets, flirty dresses and skirts, all with coordinating three inch heels and accessories. I loved getting dressed to go to work. I worked as a design consultant, so everyday was a day to dress to impress. The best way to quickly show that you had any clue you knew how to decorate a home was with the way you decorated your self. Getting dressed every morning was fun, and I left the house feeling cute and confident. I've been anxious to get back in those clothes and aura of confidence that came with them, but I'm slowly realizing that may not happen. While those clothes fit again, they are not exactly appropriate for the trenches of the stay at home mom. For now, I've traded in my dry clean only suits and delicate silk blouses for cotton T-shirts and shorts from which spit up, drool and other baby bodily fluids wash right out. I've traded my bangles and heels for a running watch and flip flops when I'm not bare foot. Instead of letting my signature hair cascade down my back, it is now in a bun away from reaching hands. Even my bras have changed from pretty little satin surprises for my husband to cotton nursing bras that have way too much function and not enough form. I have yet to give up mascara, and because it is my last little luxury, I've gone back to Lancome. I love that mascara! It is funny how such a small little thing can make you feel somewhat put together, so I put it on even if I'm not leaving the house.
Just like it took me time to master the art of business casual, I'm sure I will eventually figure out my mommy style that exudes sassy confidence with out compromising function.

The Wonderful Sleepy Wrap

I love my Sleepy wrap! It is 15 yards of purple fabric that allows me a little sanity each day. It is like putting my daughter back in the womb. She is all squished and warm and absolutely loves it. With the Sleepy Wrap I can hold and snuggle her and still be productive.

When Turner is particularly fussy we like to take walks with the Sleepy Wrap. I think my neighbors think I'm still prego and just really like wearing purple because when she is in it you do not see her at all...I just have a giant baby bump on my chest, but Turner usually passes out and I get some good sunshine, so I do not care what I look like.

Last time we went for a walk Turner was nice and fussy before hand and was due to eat again in about 45 minutes (she had just eaten like 30 minutes before this) so to stretch out my time and give my boobs a small break I stuck her in the wrap and went for a walk. It worked like a dream! She was out cold in less than 2 minutes!

My walking path is about 2.5 miles and takes me past my in-laws house at the half way point. When I was walking past their house, one of their neighbors was out and they wanted to see the baby. Being a new mom I love showing her off but have little experience in what waking up a hungry baby will do. I pull her out of the wrap and let the neighbor hold her while I tell her my crazy birth story and other general mommy talk. We had about 10 nice minutes before Turner started with fussiness that quickly escalated to out right screaming! I franticly leave the neighbors house juggling my baby, all the socks and hat she has screamed herself out of, my dog leash, keys and phone. I'm trying to stick it all in the wrap and head next door to my in-laws so I can feed this child.

Little did I know that they changed the locks just the day before because my sister in-law's purse had been stolen. Therefore, I am in their yard with a shrieking baby, a dog that is running around everywhere and no clue what to do next. I seriously contemplated just sitting in the grass and feeding my child right there, but the way she has been eating lately, I could be there for hours, so I just start walking. Maybe the movement of me walking will calm her down until we get home which is about 15 minutes away. No, her screaming just got louder. Someone is going to call CPS on me! In sheer desperation and panic I pulled down my shirt and undid my bra, put Turner on the boob and let her nurse while walking down the street! Thank goodness for the Sleepy Wrap as it kept us all covered and I hope no one figured out that my baby was hitting the buffet with incredible voracity. If they did then they really think I'm some weird hippy chick.

I still love my Sleepy Wrap and think it is kinda cool that I can breast feed in it, just one more reason it is the ultimate hands free mothering device, but I will try to only use the breast feeding function at home.

Poopy Day

THIS STORY IS FOR PARENTS ONLY! IF YOU EVER DESIRE CHILDREN DO NOT READ THIS STORY!

As a very new parent I am very observant of my daughter's bodily functions
Since I'm breastfeeding, I'm always wondering how much she is eating and is she getting enough. Well the only way to check the input is to monitor the output so, for me; diaper changes are not gross but a source of information.

I thoroughly enjoyed changing her first poopy diaper on her first day of life; because it gave me the opportunity to give this being that my husband and I created a good inspection. Turner had been swaddled and wearing a hat from just a few minutes after she was born, so all I had really seen was her precious little face. With that diaper change I got to see the rest of her and all of it was precious. I loved her long little fingers, her daddy's feet and I even thought her pooper shooter was so precious that I did not even notice the meconium it had produced. I was just so happy it was working. It means she is getting colostrum from me and it is clearing out her system. Horary!

After that episode there were several days where there were no more poopy diapers as my milk had not yet come in. I was starting to wonder if my nursing was working.

On Turner's 5th day of life you can imagine my glee as I discover she has another poopy diaper and I get to change her (we've been fortunate to have so much help that I haven't had to change too many diapers). I was looking forward to another magical experience where I am just overwhelmed by how wonderful she is. I take my daughter and her diaper caddy to our bathroom. The counter in there is the perfect height and I can wash my hands right afterward before touching her or anything else. This was going to be great! I was going to change her diaper all by myself and prove I'm getting this mommy thing down.

I lay her down on her changing pad and have the new diaper all ready as well as the wipe. I pull off her old diaper and right as I'm doing the quick diaper swap, my precious daughter shoots liquid poop like a fire hydrant out across the bathroom! It goes all over her changing pad, the bathroom counter, the sink, the wall, the hand towel and me! I scream in shock and disgust but before I can even think about what to do next, she does it again!!!

By this time Mike and his grandmother, who had come for a visit, came running in to see why I screamed. But the scene was self explanatory and all I could say, "She just exploded!"

There was poop all over everything! Grandma Joan backed out of the room and basically said "Have fun kids. I've gotta go." Then she left us all alone with the nastiness. Did I mention poop was everywhere! We grabbed the paper towels and just started wiping, trying really hard not to vomit. This was soooo disgusting! During all the commotion Turner happily laid there looking at her reflection in the mirror not at all concerned at all that the lower half of her body was basically covered in pea soup poop!

Eventually we powered through and cleaned it all up. Thank Goodness we were in the bathroom where all the surfaces are non-porous. Could you imagine the horror if I had changed her on our living room ottoman like I had been doing up to this point!

Now I always giver her a few minutes before I change her to make sure she's done and then always change her diaper in the bathroom.

Mike and I have not quite recovered from this brutal initiation to parenthood. At least our daughter's plumbing is working, right?

Welcome to the world Miss Turner

Turner Elise Gonzalez was born today at 1:22 am and being her mother's daughter she did not follow her mothers plan for her entry to the world.

I had planned, in writing, to have a long labor that slowly progressed and I would give birth to our daughter in a warm tub of water at the Allen Birthing Center.
Instead as Mike and I were lying in bed tonight talking about if Mike was ready to be a daddy and wondering what our daughter would look like, I had a contraction. A nice big contraction. Who hoo. The red raspberry leaf tea I had been drinking and other natural induction methods I had done that day may be starting to work because 10 minutes later I had another long contraction. Then when I had another one that lasted for a couple of minutes five minutes later, I told Michael to get the bath tub ready and I called my mom. Then the next contraction came 3 minutes later and lasted over a minute and then after that they were seemed right on top of each other with out a discernible break between making them nearly impossible to time. I told Mike to call the birth center we needed to get moving.

Mike tried to start to get things together, but I wouldn't let him go far because I needed him to hold me and put pressure on my lower back for every contraction, so we decided to wait for my mom to arrive so she could tend to me and then Mike could get everything in the car. By this time I had made it to our bathroom and found great comfort lying sprawled out on the bath mat with my face on the cool tile floor. A few minutes after my mom arrived and Mike had dug the car seat out of the box and threw it and our bags into the car I had a very strong urge to push and there was no way I was going to leave my cool tile let alone ride in a car for 30 minutes. Especially since on one of my attempts to stand up while having a contraction, I could feel Turner's head already crowned. Mike called Becky, our Nurse Certified Midwife to tell her there was no way we could make it to her. She decided to come to our house and her assistant who lived in Little Elm would be there even sooner.

I wanted to push so badly. It is really true that it feels better to push when you are having a pushing contraction, but since there was none of my experienced attendants were here mom would not let me push. I had to blow through them like I was blowing out all of my daughter's birthday candles from a mile away. The only good part to this stage of my short labor was that I was able to at least get a break between contractions and become somewhat more aware of my surroundings, like the fact that in my sprawled out state some of my hair was in my dogs water bowl and I probably should be laying on something a little more sanitary than my 5' brown shag bathmat. With out moving my body I remedied my hair and had mom and Mike lay towels under me. Oh but the urge to push was growing greater and greater and harder to fight! Someone better show up real quick!

Debbie the birth assistant showed up first and was not aware we had not planned a home birth and was surprised to find we did not have our birth supplies. I heard her asking Mike for some string and scissors and heard Mike pulling shoe laces out of his boots. I did not have time to let my mind focus too much on what they were doing nor did I want to know as none of it sounded sanitary. Becky finally arrived and after getting her bearings in my house and her supplies in order I was given the OK to push! Oh what a relief and a pain as Turner's head was out in two very quick pushes and her body came out with I guess gravity or momentum and then the next thing I knew I was holding our daughter kneeling in our bathroom floor looking at my husband's amazed and shell shocked face. She had arrived!

My first contraction was at 10:59pm and Turner was born at 1:22am. A very fast 2 1/2 hour labor.

A very healthy and angelic Miss Turner Elise Gonzalez weighed in at 7lbs 14 oz and is 21 inches long. I am doing well also, as evident by my desire to blog with in a few hours of birth. I'm sore in the places I should be sore, but have no tears.

I must say it is so amazing to be in my own bed with my husband and daughter sleeping soundly next to me.

Next time we will not even waste time writing out a birth plan because God's plans are always so much better than our own.

Vibrating Mascara

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and received at least one special gift from a special person.

I had to say in this dismal economy I felt extremely blessed this Christmas. Instead of gifts of abundance everyone in my family put a little extra thought into their gifts to make their one present a little more special and memorable. My husband was no exception to this and, I must brag, every Christmas he surprises me even more with the special touches he puts into what he gives me. However, like any man, he does ask for direction. I try to make things easier for him by giving him a specific list that includes model numbers and store locations or websites otherwise my "thoughtful gift" would come from The Colony Wal Mart every year.

This year I asked for my mascara to be replenished. I've recently developed a taste for Lancome Mascara. The lash definition is amazing and the biggest selling feature is, while it will not smudge through the most severe tear fests, and being 7 months pregnant I should know as I cry often, it washes off with little to no effort with soap and water. If you've ever fought with greasy eye make up remover to get rid of your waterproof mascara, you know how awesome this feature is! Well I was about out and at $25-$30 per tube, did I mention this was a two step mascara, I could not justify buying it for myself, so I asked for it as a Christmas Present. Knowing my passion for this product, my precious and very manly husband ventured bravely to the Lancome Counter at the mall on Christmas Eve with the names of my requests in order to please his wife.
If you know my husband you will know what an incredible sacrifice this trip is for him. First of all, he hates malls any time of year and to go on the most frantic shopping day of the year and to fight a parking lot full other panicked husbands buying their wives gifts makes for pure insanity. My thought is, while it serves him right to wait til Christmas Eve to venture out, at least is was in empathetic company. Also, and the biggest sacrifice is this trip really put a dent into his machismo. When I asked him to buy mascara I may as well have asked him to go buy tampons or some other feminine hygiene product. However, my husband swallowed his pride and set out to please the woman carrying his child. If you ask him, though, he did it out of fear of the consequences of not pleasing the hormonal, hungry and crazy monster that could easily kill him just by sitting on him if not happy. I still prefer to see it my way, though.

OK, back to my husband at the Lancome counter at the mall on Christmas Eve. The Make Up counter was fairly quiet considering most normal ladies don't ask for mascara for Christmas, so my inquisitive husband starts to talk to the lady behind the counter to find out why I need two tubes of mascara. In the conversation he proceeds to learn everything there is to know about all the mascara that Lancome carries and why each one is so great. I wish I had a tape recording of that conversation as my husband tries to wrap his head around the ways women augment their eyelashes. A big light bulb must have went off in his head when he was able to equate the base coat to paint primer as my husband knows all things related to tools and construction. With all his new found knowledge you can just imagine how his eyes lit up when the sales girl brought out the battery powered vibrating wand that applies the mascara even better than regular manually operated mascara. High Tech Mascara! Now if a guy is forced to buy mascara shouldn't it be as cool of a gadget as possible! He plopped down his credit card for the now $40 dollar mascara tube, the $25 primer and the $35 regular tube I originally asked for just to cover his basis. He accomplished his mission with gusto! I could just hear a Tim The Tool Man Taylor grunt of approval as Michael proudly recanted this story upon my opening of his gift and then to make things even funnier he had to tell me how to put it on!

I thought it was the greatest gift he could have gotten me! Researching and buying me the best mascara was amazing. He really put effort into something he didn't have to. My pregnant emotions took over, I cried, and then I had to call all my family members and brag how great he was for buying me vibrating mascara!

Now for the ironic twist. A few days later, we went to see Marley and Me with my family in Lubbock. This movie is such a tear fest. Not a single one of our group had a dry eye, but my mascara still looked great! Towards the end of the movie I reached in my makeup bag to get some lip gloss to minimize the blotchy, puffy, I've been crying for the last hour look.
Little did I know that my prized vibrating mascara fell to the dark ground to be lost forever.

The next day when I realized it was gone the water works started all over again. You would have thought I lost my Great Grandmothers Heirloom Wedding Ring. Michael drove me to the movie theater to search lost and found. You should have seen the look the manager give me as I waddled my 7 month pregnant self up to him and asked if anyone has found my vibrating mascara. I guess he doesn't find too many vibrating mascara tubes, and why would he because most women who know how awesome this stuff is keep it under lock in key in the safety of their bathrooms not carelessly carrying it around with them in their purses. I was a mess. In fact it has been 10 days since and I am just now able to bring my self to tell this story with out crying.

It was just too good to be true. My wonderful husband wanted to return the regular tube he bought me and exchange it for the vibrating kind again, but my practical self said no. If you know me just slightly well you will know that I'm Practical with a capital P. If I cannot afford to loose something I should not use it, and being the type to always put my mascara on while flying down the interstate and not in the security of my bathroom the chance of another loss was too real. I asked him to return all the mascara he so lovingly bought me and I went back to my Loreal "It'll Do" mascara found at glorious Wal Mart. I still grieve every time I wash my face and have to struggle to remove my mascara, but the money we "saved" has gone to a Wii Fit and has given me more to write about. One day I will be able to buy expensive "Mall" makeup again. Although I highly doubt that Michael will ever buy it for me.

Come back soon and read about what it is like being pregnant on the Wii Fit!